Timeline

00:10 – Why building satisfying intimacy takes time and skills
12:15 – How to define intimacy
14:05 – Emotional safety and connection
17:20 – How to start open talk with your partner
22:45 – Bridge from communication to “window of desire”
29:23 – Resentment as “brakes” for desire
31:20 – Shadow in a relationship
36:00 – Foreplay as a space to synchronize and establish safety
38:20 – Having fun together as no.1 fuel for connection
42:18 – How to invite your partner to practice together


We recorded this episode with Lillian Marilla — my colleague and also a couples intimacy coach.
We both work with couples and feel a lot of passion around that. It’s one of the biggest loves in our work. And we just decided to dive into the topic of intimacy and safety. Because that’s where it all starts.

If you’ve seen my courses, you know I often start with safety. It’s always the beginning point — in couple work, in deep coaching work, in psychology. Establishing safety means a lot for a couple. That’s how you can then go into the more specific, more emotional, more intimate topics.

When you’re able to feel emotions and truly see the soul of the person in front of you. When you build a window of tolerance through trust.
And in that kind of space, you can paint your relationship with different flavors and colors of love, intimacy, and pleasure. You can also digest the shadow pieces — the blocks, the pain, the uncertainty, the triggers. And from there, you can keep spiraling up — growing together in intimacy, deep love, and connection.

We spoke about shadow work, the breaks of desire like resentment, about the “window of desire,” and the importance of play and fun — how having fun together is actually the number one fuel for connection.

We shared both from our professional experience working with couples and from our personal lives, being in a couple ourselves.
We jumped on the call like “yay, we’re doing this!”
We ended it with an integration talk and even created the Spotify cover photo together.

So it really felt like we were living what we were talking about — partnership, co-creation, safe space, and it felt beautiful and fruitful.

I hope this episode is interesting and supportive for you.

You can listen, reflect, journal, send in questions, and subscribe on Spotify for updates.
And if you’re ready — go deeper, apply some practices, or start a conversation with your partner.