The Inner Garden: How Deep Work Builds a New Life from the Foundation
Your Energy Knows Before Your Mind Does. About discovering the true map of fulfillment through the body’s signals, the heart’s language, and the wild dance of life.
For me, sessions and coaching are not something I do occasionally.
For some people, it’s ten sessions or a year of self-discovery — and then it ends.
For me, it’s a constant deep connection with people who understand the inside world, the movements of the soul, the cycles, and that safe space where I can still harness skills, feel support and explore, my playground.
It’s a place where I can be seen, heard, and grow small inner things that strengthen, strengthen, strengthen — and then flourish in my life outside of sessions.
Sometimes there is a plateau, like I’m not actually doing something through it.
But when I look back, I see how many things are done, how many things are discovered, how many things are transmitted.
Beautiful flowers and gardens inside of me.
I put flower and flower and flower — and then it flourished and flourished.
It’s not only about healing.
It’s about harnessing your inner garden, creating this ecosystem inside that supports you, that allows you to voice and name all of the things inside your own world — and then create your own version of life and relationships with it - that are true to you.
And that’s what moves me forward.
Improves my intuition and my relationships.
There are easy topics, there are hard topics.
Hard topics come and go in years.
And then there’s a big topic like self-realization, which is huge for me — especially in relationship with money.
I know in this topic there is something about empowerment and doing things.
I do things, but I’ve heard that in this topic it’s 80% inner game and 20% things done.
And I feel it.
I feel it in many areas of my life.
Even with money. Even with art.
When I get a beautiful place inside, I’m ready — and it’s ready to flourish.
Then I go all in.
I create, I do, I do, I do, I do — with the right approach — and then it flourishes into a good level of work, or I lose myself in a good way, in studying or painting.
And then it’s a big move forward.
Today’s session was again about self-realization.
I started with this feeling that my wise part, the one that knows where I’m going, sits in my heart and in my third eye.
My connection with the higher self is there.
I know where I’m going.
I know my values.
I’m sliding, gliding, moving forward.
And then there is this inner child that frequently sits in the center.
And there is this inner parent piece that is more about structure, taking care of things, manager-to-manager stuff.
And there is my artist.
I was sitting between them.
And the context is important: I’m on the edge of surgery and on the edge of moving to another country.
It’s this transitioning phase, and I’m starting to hold my resources in order to do it.
So in this case, the topic was: I don’t want to lose connection with my self-realization.
I want clarity on what I want and what is good for me to do in the upcoming two months, because I will have a lot coming up — money-wise, work-wise, decisions, pace, what is a good rhythm for me, what I’m here to do.
I felt this feeling that usually comes and goes between sessions, like a bit of being lost.
Because overall, I’m quite happy in main areas of life.
I feel supported and I’m good.
And still, there is this… something.
This year I’m becoming 35 years old, and I feel like it’s a new level of adulthood — a coming-of-age again, a new period.
And I feel like a new way of inner connections is needed.
I felt like, yes, it’s good — but to create something more, to go full speed, to unleash my potential, to follow the picture in my mind, I need to reconnect on a new level all those pieces.
I need time for the inner child, yes, and for the inner wise self to be so, so in place.
But I feel there’s a gap between the inner child and the wise self.
That’s why when I’m doing podcasts or being seen on media, I feel a distinction. > Oksana: In sessions, I go very deep, very wise — and then outside, I’m like, okay, more artful style.
For me, it was like: I want those pieces to be connected.
I want them to be a team.
I want more adaptation in my life.
I want to be more free to create at full speed what I want.
And I felt this feeling of coming and going — like there was distance between those pieces.
They needed to be connected.
Then I felt into it, and I felt: yes, they already know each other.
They’re ready to connect.
They’re kind of on a train to move forward.
And when I saw it — my wise self, my inner parent, my inner child — they’re all ready to go.
But I found this emptiness inside.
Like they are moving forward and I cannot.
I am stuck.
⸻
It was like that stuckness and these kind of feelings are very deep.
They’re like a flavor that’s always there.
Like, yes, we are experiencing orgasms or joy or deep resentment in life.
The situations come and go, but that kind of layer is the foundation.
It defines our flavor.
And I love to actually touch those pieces.
Each time I touch them, it’s like, yeah, I’m in my foundation again.
If I don’t push it, if I don’t rush, I have time here.
I embody it. I feel it.
I’m true, just being with it truly.
That’s a piece of truth that uncovers itself again and again.
It’s not a quick story, but it’s so precious actually to find myself there.
And it’s so good to have somebody there with me.
Because those pieces — I can do practices and be there, but when my coach sits there and reflects back right away what I feel, what I describe, it’s a tremendous thing.
When I found this inner child, it felt like it was left alone.
A boy in his own bubble.
And it felt like, okay, they are going, everything is moving, and I’m stuck here.
And I will be happy with what I have here — but I will not go outside of my bubble.
And it’s so true for me.
I feel like the remnants of it are: I’m not deeply wanted in this world.
It’s not a good space for me to create, to give things to others, to create my art, to sell it, to create with my full potential some new projects.
It’s like it will not be good.
It’s not going to be received.
I will be like not supported.
Like nobody wants it.
And it’s not a safe space anyway to play with it.
Deep creativity that flourishes and allows me to have this safe space to actually let all of my pieces and experiences come together — in art, in dancing, in all of that — to infuse with my work and to fully live in it.
So my coach asked me: what do I need?
And I felt like, do you want to be helped?
Do I want to be loved in this part?
And I said: no, I just need a friend to share this experience with.
So there was my old self with this little child piece, and we were looking at this wall.
It was like shiny stars in the night sky.
And I felt like we’re looking at it and starting to melt.
And I’m growing, and I’m allowing myself to be there.
As I was there, until this piece said: yes, okay, let’s try.
And we were able to come out.
After that, I felt like I’m going once again on the train, but now it’s not like the train goes without me.
Like me and the train, we’re moving together and everything else is changing.
And I felt this safety to create.
I felt like all pieces of me are able to create some project together.
And I felt freedom and safety in it.
And I felt, wow, wow, that’s cool.
So now I’m sitting here and I’m starting to create.
And I don’t say like this one process is good enough to unravel and change all my deep patterns of avoiding.
But each time, each time I’m here, each time I’m going to this level, it accumulates.
And then I feel gradually in time:
first of all, my ability to nourish myself increases.
My ability to co-regulate myself — to contain myself, to soothe myself, to bring myself to centeredness and safety — improves.
And the next piece is this pattern is rewriting itself.
I do feel like a different person.
If we’re talking about this core stuff — me a year ago, me a few years ago, and now — it’s a completely different story.
No, it’s not yet fully there. > Oksana: But in this space of time, I do feel like it’s fully there because I can turn this piece on and say:
Yes, I am doing this right now.
So it’s a very humbling and not so quick process.
With some stuff, it’s quite quick.
For some people, it’s quite quick.
Sometimes it’s not.
And it’s for you.
If it’s for you, it’s not quick.
It’s okay because sometimes we are working not on quantity, but on quality.
Sometimes the money, the self-realization stuff — because people outside are like,
“I feel it’s growing, it’s a new circle of my creativity.”
And the people are like, “What do you mean it’s growing? You already have so much knowledge, so much education, lots of experience. What do you mean growing? There is already a full garden there, fully grown.”
But it’s not that.
It’s a new quality that’s emerging there.
And it’s good to honor that.
And when we’re talking about money and self-realization in general — first of all, for somebody it’s easier, for somebody it’s not — but rewriting takes time and effort.
Once again: what are the qualities of money you want to receive and maintain?
What are the qualities of the life you are initiating?
What quality of all of that?
So actually, I just want to share this because it’s a beautiful piece of how inner work works.
It’s something about humbling and not pushing.
It’s something about going to foundation.
It’s something about trusting that it matters.
It’s something about this shift and true result, where you can actually say:
Ah — now I feel an inch more ready, an inch more free, more loving, more humbled, more happy, and allowing yourself to be yourself more fully in this world, in this skin, in this lifetime.
Not waiting for something grand to happen, but actually taking steps forward and doing what matters for you.
And that’s one of the magical pieces and transmissions and transitions —
why I love this work, and how it feels on my side to experience it.
⸻
1. The Flavor That Never Leaves
It was like a stuckness — but not the kind that appears and disappears with life situations.
It was deeper. A foundation. A flavor that’s always there.
Yes, we experience orgasms, joy, deep resentment — situations come and go.
But this layer stays. It defines our flavor in life.
And I love to touch those pieces.
Each time I touch them, I return to my foundation again.
If I don’t push, if I don’t rush, I have time.
I embody it. I feel it. I stay with it truly.
That’s the piece of truth that uncovers itself again and again.
It’s not a quick story, but it’s precious to find myself there.
And it’s so good to have someone there with me —
because when my coach reflects back what I feel and describe, it’s tremendous.
2. The Inner Child Left Alone
When I found this inner child, it felt like it was left alone —
a boy in his own bubble.
It felt like everyone else was moving, and I was stuck.
And I would be happy with what I have here — but I would not go outside of my bubble.
And this is so true for me.
There is this feeling that I’m not deeply wanted in this world.
It’s not a good space for me to create, to give things to others, to share my art, to sell it, to build new projects with my full potential.
It felt like it wouldn’t be received.
I would not be supported.
Nobody wants it.
It’s not safe to play with deep creativity — the kind that flourishes and allows all my pieces and experiences to come together.
In art, in dancing, in all of that — to infuse with my work and fully live in it.
3. The Question That Changed Everything
Then my coach asked:
“What do you need?”
And I felt it:
Do I want to be helped? Do I want to be loved in this part?
And I said:
No. I just need a friend to share this experience with.
So there was my old self, with this little child piece.
And we were looking at this wall — a shiny star in the night sky.
We looked at it and started to melt.
I started to grow.
I allowed myself to be there.
Until this piece said:
Yes. Okay. Let’s try.
And we were able to come out.
4. The Train Starts Moving — Together
After that, I felt like I was on the train again —
but now the train was not moving without me.
Me and the train were moving together.
Everything else was changing.
And I felt safety to create.
I felt like all pieces of me were able to create a project together.
And I felt freedom and safety in it.
And I felt: wow. That’s cool.
5. This Is Not a Quick Process
I’m sitting here now, starting to create.
I don’t say this one process is enough to unravel all my deep patterns of avoidance.
But each time I go to this level, it accumulates.
And gradually, over time, my ability to nourish myself increases.
My ability to contain myself, soothe myself, and bring myself to centeredness improves.
And then the pattern starts rewriting itself.
I do feel like a different person, compared to a year ago, compared to a few years ago.
Now it’s a completely different story.
Not fully there yet, but in this space of time, I can turn the piece on and say:
Yes, I am doing this right now.
It’s humbling.
It’s not quick.
6. Sometimes It’s Not About Quantity, But Quality
Some things are quick.
For some people, it’s quick.
Sometimes it’s not.
And that’s okay, because sometimes we’re working not on quantity but on quality.
Even though people outside might say:
“You already have so much knowledge, so much education, so much experience — what do you mean it’s growing? Your garden is already full.”
But it’s not about that.
It’s a new quality emerging.
7. Money and Self-Realization: The Deep Rewrite
When we talk about money and self-realization, it takes time and effort.
For some people it’s easier, for some it’s not.
But rewriting takes time.
And once again:
What quality of money do you want to receive?
What quality of life are you initiating? > Oksana: What quality of all of that?
8. The Beauty of Inner Work
I just wanted to share this because it’s a beautiful piece of how inner work works.
It’s about humbling and not pushing.
It’s about going to the foundation.
It’s about trusting that it matters.
It’s about the shift and true result —
when you can say:
Ah. Now I feel an inch more ready.
An inch more free.
More loving.
More humble.
More happy.
Allowing yourself to be yourself more fully in this world, in this skin, in this lifetime.
Not waiting for something grand to happen —
but taking steps forward and doing what matters.
And that’s one of the magical pieces of this work —
why I love it, and how it feels from my side to experience it.
For some people, it’s ten sessions or a year of self-discovery — and then it ends.
For me, it’s a constant deep connection with people who understand the inside world, the movements of the soul, the cycles, and that safe space where I can still harness skills, feel support and explore, my playground.
It’s a place where I can be seen, heard, and grow small inner things that strengthen, strengthen, strengthen — and then flourish in my life outside of sessions.
Sometimes there is a plateau, like I’m not actually doing something through it.
But when I look back, I see how many things are done, how many things are discovered, how many things are transmitted.
Beautiful flowers and gardens inside of me.
I put flower and flower and flower — and then it flourished and flourished.
It’s not only about healing.
It’s about harnessing your inner garden, creating this ecosystem inside that supports you, that allows you to voice and name all of the things inside your own world — and then create your own version of life and relationships with it - that are true to you.
And that’s what moves me forward.
Improves my intuition and my relationships.
There are easy topics, there are hard topics.
Hard topics come and go in years.
And then there’s a big topic like self-realization, which is huge for me — especially in relationship with money.
I know in this topic there is something about empowerment and doing things.
I do things, but I’ve heard that in this topic it’s 80% inner game and 20% things done.
And I feel it.
I feel it in many areas of my life.
Even with money. Even with art.
When I get a beautiful place inside, I’m ready — and it’s ready to flourish.
Then I go all in.
I create, I do, I do, I do, I do — with the right approach — and then it flourishes into a good level of work, or I lose myself in a good way, in studying or painting.
And then it’s a big move forward.
Today’s session was again about self-realization.
I started with this feeling that my wise part, the one that knows where I’m going, sits in my heart and in my third eye.
My connection with the higher self is there.
I know where I’m going.
I know my values.
I’m sliding, gliding, moving forward.
And then there is this inner child that frequently sits in the center.
And there is this inner parent piece that is more about structure, taking care of things, manager-to-manager stuff.
And there is my artist.
I was sitting between them.
And the context is important: I’m on the edge of surgery and on the edge of moving to another country.
It’s this transitioning phase, and I’m starting to hold my resources in order to do it.
So in this case, the topic was: I don’t want to lose connection with my self-realization.
I want clarity on what I want and what is good for me to do in the upcoming two months, because I will have a lot coming up — money-wise, work-wise, decisions, pace, what is a good rhythm for me, what I’m here to do.
I felt this feeling that usually comes and goes between sessions, like a bit of being lost.
Because overall, I’m quite happy in main areas of life.
I feel supported and I’m good.
And still, there is this… something.
This year I’m becoming 35 years old, and I feel like it’s a new level of adulthood — a coming-of-age again, a new period.
And I feel like a new way of inner connections is needed.
I felt like, yes, it’s good — but to create something more, to go full speed, to unleash my potential, to follow the picture in my mind, I need to reconnect on a new level all those pieces.
I need time for the inner child, yes, and for the inner wise self to be so, so in place.
But I feel there’s a gap between the inner child and the wise self.
That’s why when I’m doing podcasts or being seen on media, I feel a distinction. > Oksana: In sessions, I go very deep, very wise — and then outside, I’m like, okay, more artful style.
For me, it was like: I want those pieces to be connected.
I want them to be a team.
I want more adaptation in my life.
I want to be more free to create at full speed what I want.
And I felt this feeling of coming and going — like there was distance between those pieces.
They needed to be connected.
Then I felt into it, and I felt: yes, they already know each other.
They’re ready to connect.
They’re kind of on a train to move forward.
And when I saw it — my wise self, my inner parent, my inner child — they’re all ready to go.
But I found this emptiness inside.
Like they are moving forward and I cannot.
I am stuck.
⸻
It was like that stuckness and these kind of feelings are very deep.
They’re like a flavor that’s always there.
Like, yes, we are experiencing orgasms or joy or deep resentment in life.
The situations come and go, but that kind of layer is the foundation.
It defines our flavor.
And I love to actually touch those pieces.
Each time I touch them, it’s like, yeah, I’m in my foundation again.
If I don’t push it, if I don’t rush, I have time here.
I embody it. I feel it.
I’m true, just being with it truly.
That’s a piece of truth that uncovers itself again and again.
It’s not a quick story, but it’s so precious actually to find myself there.
And it’s so good to have somebody there with me.
Because those pieces — I can do practices and be there, but when my coach sits there and reflects back right away what I feel, what I describe, it’s a tremendous thing.
When I found this inner child, it felt like it was left alone.
A boy in his own bubble.
And it felt like, okay, they are going, everything is moving, and I’m stuck here.
And I will be happy with what I have here — but I will not go outside of my bubble.
And it’s so true for me.
I feel like the remnants of it are: I’m not deeply wanted in this world.
It’s not a good space for me to create, to give things to others, to create my art, to sell it, to create with my full potential some new projects.
It’s like it will not be good.
It’s not going to be received.
I will be like not supported.
Like nobody wants it.
And it’s not a safe space anyway to play with it.
Deep creativity that flourishes and allows me to have this safe space to actually let all of my pieces and experiences come together — in art, in dancing, in all of that — to infuse with my work and to fully live in it.
So my coach asked me: what do I need?
And I felt like, do you want to be helped?
Do I want to be loved in this part?
And I said: no, I just need a friend to share this experience with.
So there was my old self with this little child piece, and we were looking at this wall.
It was like shiny stars in the night sky.
And I felt like we’re looking at it and starting to melt.
And I’m growing, and I’m allowing myself to be there.
As I was there, until this piece said: yes, okay, let’s try.
And we were able to come out.
After that, I felt like I’m going once again on the train, but now it’s not like the train goes without me.
Like me and the train, we’re moving together and everything else is changing.
And I felt this safety to create.
I felt like all pieces of me are able to create some project together.
And I felt freedom and safety in it.
And I felt, wow, wow, that’s cool.
So now I’m sitting here and I’m starting to create.
And I don’t say like this one process is good enough to unravel and change all my deep patterns of avoiding.
But each time, each time I’m here, each time I’m going to this level, it accumulates.
And then I feel gradually in time:
first of all, my ability to nourish myself increases.
My ability to co-regulate myself — to contain myself, to soothe myself, to bring myself to centeredness and safety — improves.
And the next piece is this pattern is rewriting itself.
I do feel like a different person.
If we’re talking about this core stuff — me a year ago, me a few years ago, and now — it’s a completely different story.
No, it’s not yet fully there. > Oksana: But in this space of time, I do feel like it’s fully there because I can turn this piece on and say:
Yes, I am doing this right now.
So it’s a very humbling and not so quick process.
With some stuff, it’s quite quick.
For some people, it’s quite quick.
Sometimes it’s not.
And it’s for you.
If it’s for you, it’s not quick.
It’s okay because sometimes we are working not on quantity, but on quality.
Sometimes the money, the self-realization stuff — because people outside are like,
“I feel it’s growing, it’s a new circle of my creativity.”
And the people are like, “What do you mean it’s growing? You already have so much knowledge, so much education, lots of experience. What do you mean growing? There is already a full garden there, fully grown.”
But it’s not that.
It’s a new quality that’s emerging there.
And it’s good to honor that.
And when we’re talking about money and self-realization in general — first of all, for somebody it’s easier, for somebody it’s not — but rewriting takes time and effort.
Once again: what are the qualities of money you want to receive and maintain?
What are the qualities of the life you are initiating?
What quality of all of that?
So actually, I just want to share this because it’s a beautiful piece of how inner work works.
It’s something about humbling and not pushing.
It’s something about going to foundation.
It’s something about trusting that it matters.
It’s something about this shift and true result, where you can actually say:
Ah — now I feel an inch more ready, an inch more free, more loving, more humbled, more happy, and allowing yourself to be yourself more fully in this world, in this skin, in this lifetime.
Not waiting for something grand to happen, but actually taking steps forward and doing what matters for you.
And that’s one of the magical pieces and transmissions and transitions —
why I love this work, and how it feels on my side to experience it.
⸻
1. The Flavor That Never Leaves
It was like a stuckness — but not the kind that appears and disappears with life situations.
It was deeper. A foundation. A flavor that’s always there.
Yes, we experience orgasms, joy, deep resentment — situations come and go.
But this layer stays. It defines our flavor in life.
And I love to touch those pieces.
Each time I touch them, I return to my foundation again.
If I don’t push, if I don’t rush, I have time.
I embody it. I feel it. I stay with it truly.
That’s the piece of truth that uncovers itself again and again.
It’s not a quick story, but it’s precious to find myself there.
And it’s so good to have someone there with me —
because when my coach reflects back what I feel and describe, it’s tremendous.
2. The Inner Child Left Alone
When I found this inner child, it felt like it was left alone —
a boy in his own bubble.
It felt like everyone else was moving, and I was stuck.
And I would be happy with what I have here — but I would not go outside of my bubble.
And this is so true for me.
There is this feeling that I’m not deeply wanted in this world.
It’s not a good space for me to create, to give things to others, to share my art, to sell it, to build new projects with my full potential.
It felt like it wouldn’t be received.
I would not be supported.
Nobody wants it.
It’s not safe to play with deep creativity — the kind that flourishes and allows all my pieces and experiences to come together.
In art, in dancing, in all of that — to infuse with my work and fully live in it.
3. The Question That Changed Everything
Then my coach asked:
“What do you need?”
And I felt it:
Do I want to be helped? Do I want to be loved in this part?
And I said:
No. I just need a friend to share this experience with.
So there was my old self, with this little child piece.
And we were looking at this wall — a shiny star in the night sky.
We looked at it and started to melt.
I started to grow.
I allowed myself to be there.
Until this piece said:
Yes. Okay. Let’s try.
And we were able to come out.
4. The Train Starts Moving — Together
After that, I felt like I was on the train again —
but now the train was not moving without me.
Me and the train were moving together.
Everything else was changing.
And I felt safety to create.
I felt like all pieces of me were able to create a project together.
And I felt freedom and safety in it.
And I felt: wow. That’s cool.
5. This Is Not a Quick Process
I’m sitting here now, starting to create.
I don’t say this one process is enough to unravel all my deep patterns of avoidance.
But each time I go to this level, it accumulates.
And gradually, over time, my ability to nourish myself increases.
My ability to contain myself, soothe myself, and bring myself to centeredness improves.
And then the pattern starts rewriting itself.
I do feel like a different person, compared to a year ago, compared to a few years ago.
Now it’s a completely different story.
Not fully there yet, but in this space of time, I can turn the piece on and say:
Yes, I am doing this right now.
It’s humbling.
It’s not quick.
6. Sometimes It’s Not About Quantity, But Quality
Some things are quick.
For some people, it’s quick.
Sometimes it’s not.
And that’s okay, because sometimes we’re working not on quantity but on quality.
Even though people outside might say:
“You already have so much knowledge, so much education, so much experience — what do you mean it’s growing? Your garden is already full.”
But it’s not about that.
It’s a new quality emerging.
7. Money and Self-Realization: The Deep Rewrite
When we talk about money and self-realization, it takes time and effort.
For some people it’s easier, for some it’s not.
But rewriting takes time.
And once again:
What quality of money do you want to receive?
What quality of life are you initiating? > Oksana: What quality of all of that?
8. The Beauty of Inner Work
I just wanted to share this because it’s a beautiful piece of how inner work works.
It’s about humbling and not pushing.
It’s about going to the foundation.
It’s about trusting that it matters.
It’s about the shift and true result —
when you can say:
Ah. Now I feel an inch more ready.
An inch more free.
More loving.
More humble.
More happy.
Allowing yourself to be yourself more fully in this world, in this skin, in this lifetime.
Not waiting for something grand to happen —
but taking steps forward and doing what matters.
And that’s one of the magical pieces of this work —
why I love it, and how it feels from my side to experience it.
If you want more:)
Additional info for you - here:
